We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
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