Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
My vagina just clenched in fear
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
