After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
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