everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
