I feel like abortions should bother me more
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
