I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
