I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Randomize
