My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Randomize
