Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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