yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Randomize
