Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
