I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize