I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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