I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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