Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
she smelled like a LAN party
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
