This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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