You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
