Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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