hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
