Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Randomize
