I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Randomize
