you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
