highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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