holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
