I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
