You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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