There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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