How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
