I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
