mondays should just be called national damage control day
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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