i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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