Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Someone came in the potted fern
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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