I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I am available for nakedness
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
