I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
