You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize