I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize