She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
He is an equal opportunity slut.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
