Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Randomize
