I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Quick, to the slutcave!
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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