the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
