Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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