I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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