Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Randomize
