somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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