i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
