Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
not ubering you a puppy
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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