god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize