one might say we're banned from that church
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
NoShamevember. You game?
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize