when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
