I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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