So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
