I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
