Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Randomize