when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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