I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
