I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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