The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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