Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
