Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I think a kid would responsible me up
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
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