STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
