she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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