I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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